Richard @ Gawker Is Richard Blakeley

Give Me A Book Deal

Fri, 09 May 2008 16:07:47 -0400

You should write something about my site.

http://tumblrbookdeal.tumblr.com

It’s really funny.

Best,
Thelonius Liebowitz

Entertain Me! Let's Be Friends!

Thu, 08 May 2008 15:02:55 -0400

I know it was somewhat boring and predictable last night, but it’s time for your update!

Love em!

Wouldn’t it be funny if Jason was cast in a remake of Welcome Back Kotter updated with metal detectors, explicit teen sex (20-somethings are always cast as teens, 30-somethings in the original Kotter), and killer buds?

You could tell Bo Bice hated Chimpy Archuleta.

Thanks,
Heather

Send n00ds please, kthxbi!

Mon, 05 May 2008 13:45:07 -0400

Hi there. Now that I’ve been executed from Gawker, how do I get to be a commenter again. Surely, there is someone I could offer to blow.

Let me know if I can comment again.

Thanks.

Kelly Kreth

My reply: send n00d pix plz

Her: Ha! Considering my breasts are already up on Gawker, I think that should not only make me a lifetime commenter, but also one with TWO stars.

Me: link?

Her: http://gawker.com/371456/the-narrative-arc-of-kelly-kreths-breasts

Me: awesome, ok well first off all, this is richard BLAKELEY, not richard
LAWSON, so i can’t un-ban you, i can however give you a new comment
invite in the meantime so you can continue to talk shit while your
main account is banned.

Her: can’t we just say I put the “CUTE” back in “EXECUTE,” give me commenting privs. and call it a day?

Although, I will ONLY consider commenting again if you figure out a way to make me the only person with 2 stars.

Me: i am just the video guy, i can’t un-ban you. i just told you that.

Her: wait! Then WHO is: xxx@gmail.com who responded saying I just needed to send “n00d pics.”

I explained to him and will to you that my tits are ALREADY on Gawker and have been written about.

Now let’s say I put the “CUTE” back in “EXECUTE” and bring back my original commenting name, but this time with TWO stars next to it, k?

Shortest Thank You Ever. Next time put a little bit more feeling into it Tyler!

Thu, 01 May 2008 17:26:40 -0400

Subject: thanks for the Via

Body:

t

Tyler Gray | Senior Editor, RADAR Magazine

What Do I Look Like, A Get Well Card?

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:37:51 -0400

Dear Richard,

I know you said you were not feeling so hot today, so I wanted to email you and say feel better! I have become a devoted reader of your Gawker contributions, and you never fail to make ME feel better every time you post. You had me at your cousin oliver avatar! No one can skewer all my favorite pop culture guilty pleasures with brilliant references to 80s cartoons quite like you. You have already made me crack up many times today.

Thanks! (and I hope you’re feeling better)
~Naveen~
(commenter: naifmonger)

WTF Is A Homosexualist?

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 23:55:57 -0400

Oh, this is Rich, Rich.

I work out at Equinox in Chelsea (I know, hardy har har, etc. I live in the neighborhood. And I’m a homosexualist.) and see Chace Crawford there almost every evening during prime cruising hours. His presence has finally sent at least one of the Chelsea Equinox gehs into hysterics. Someone has apparently posted a missed connection posing as Crawford (he of the perpetual “gray tee with a green cap”—I guess, nay, hope, GG pays well enough for Equi-laundry service) pining away for a black betanktopped stud of questionable relationship status.

I’m not totally convinced that he’s on the, ahem, straight and narrow per his steam room visits. But I refuse to believe—no matter how much his mouth-breathing, non-weight-racking behavior might suggest otherwise—he’s bold and stupid enough to out himself on craigslist. That is an act saved for VGL bros who want to get some beers and see what happens, their GFs being OOT and all.

Clearly, someone needs to contact JC Chasez for comment. The posting is linked and pasted below.

xoxo,
GG

Meatpacking Equinox - Tuesday night - m4m - 22 (Chelsea)

You were lifting in a black tank top and black Adidas pants. I was wearing a gray tee with a green cap. I’m not sure if you were working out with your boyfriend or if he was just a friend - either way, you’re a stud. I’m a fairly recognizable actor, so I didn’t want to approach you on the gym floor - but now I find myself wishing that I had waited around for you in the locker room - or something.

Msg me if you see this - hope to see you again.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 654968063

Your Family Member Passed Into The Great Beyond Lawson, I'm Sorry

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:45:16 -0400

Goodday Friend,

My name is Barrister Jossip Welber, an Attorney at Law.

I am writing to notify you of the unclaimed inheritance deposit of our late client, Mr. Morris Thompson who passed on to the Great beyond on January 31st, 2000 in the Alaska Airlines Flight 261 Crash.

I got your email address through a web search engine in my quest to get a reliable individual who shall work with me in claiming this inheritance deposit of ($18,500,000.00) since all efforts to get the biological relative has proved abortive.

Get back to me with your full names,tel/fax numbers for more information on the procedure and legality of this claim via this email address: jwelbernl@aim.com

Yours Sincerely,
Jossip Welber (Attorney At Law)
Reply to this email address: jwelbernl@aim.com

Lehr Jets, WTF?

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:51:13 -0400

Thank you for including my Glaring Omission. Love the site, feels wonderful to be able to make a contribution of any sort and in return receive so many helpful suggestions and thoughtful feedback from the commentators.

~Libby

She must be talking about this. Text from post below.

Someone forwarded this email to us, for some reason: “Funny you should say the beach, yep that is our plan. hawaii, very small and quaint. The entire trip for everyone invited is paid for by him. His name is [redacted] (haha) he is from [redacted], went to harvard and is a venture capitalist. he makes SERIOUS $$$$. I’m talking in the hundreds of millions. he has 2 pvt lehr jets, one of which he asked me to pick out the interior color. (I chose gray) anyway, honestly $$ in his case matters very little. he is the sweetest most amazing man i’ve ever met. We met on match.com believe it or not. he found me actaully. His first email was titled: Hola from san fran. amongst all the emails i got daily i found his to be the most sincere and kind. so we started chatting and then phone calls and he asked me to marry him!! i’m in the process of picking out my ring. pink, princess cut 7 carat set in platinum. i have to out do [redacted]’s ring from [redacted]!!! lol did you know she is also getting marrie d?? we’re trying to plan it so we are pregnant together. this whole thing is i’m sure very amusing to all who know me well. I never thought i would meet the man of my dreams and here I am. I can’t even believe it’s happening to me to be honest i have to pinch myself. I am THE luckiest girl in the world. He also has a horse running in the derby this year (we think) we find out tonight if it’s in or not, i will let you know. if so i am going to be on TV in the owners box. I don;t think the horse is a favorite but we’ll see it’s name is [redacted]
So life is grand!! what about you?? whats up??”

This Position Is Just Perfect For You Lawson!

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:49:39 -0400

Dear Gawker Person: (www.gawker.com)

I am looking for a blogger to write daily posts for femalemuscle.com.

I founded Femalemuscle in 1995, a site that has always reflected my passion and amusement with the world of female bodybuilding/fitness and its fetish like followers and participants.

I am looking for a new writer/blogger who will jump right in and turn Femalemuscle into the Gawker of my genre.

If you are interested in this challenge (or know of anyone else), I ask that you contact me immediately.

Our pay will be competitive, and we have a small great team in place to work with you.

Thank you so much.

—
Lori Braun
www.femalemuscle.com

Send Your Money Quickly Lawson!

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:12:08 -0400

Hello Dear Beloved,

How are you together with your family and work? hope all is well with you and your family,I am Mrs. Sandra Grayson from Sudan, presently staying in Dakar, Senegal. I have been working as a human rights activist and a humanitarian coordinator for 15 years before i became sick and very unwell to continue the work that i started with my husband.. I`m married to Mr Naboth Grayson, We were married for 32 years without a child. He died after a brief illness and before his death, we were both born again Christian. Since his death, I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home.

When I was the coordinator of the major human right action group in Southern Sudan, I deposited the sum of $1.5M (One million, Five hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) in a Bank in Dakar, Senegal here. Presently, this money is still with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Few months due to cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition, I decided to keep this money in the Bank. I want an organization or an individual that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of Lord is maintained.

The Holy Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and I am an orphan. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Almighty God. As soon as I receive your reply I shall inform the Bank that you are the beneficiary of the said money.

I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. I want you and the organization to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in truth and spirit. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply today thanks and Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Sandra Grayson.

He-Man is back apparently? Oddest email yet... Site isn't even working...

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:23:00 -0400

Hi Richard Lawson,

Now that the weather’s clearing up, that means one thing: He-Man is back. Since he doesn’t come around during the winter, we had to shut down operations, but are now back, ready to report on any sightings in the area. Since it is a submission site, we do rely on word of mouth and other blogs to keep the word alive, so if you could post a reminder of where He usually congregates and for people to be on the look out, we’d appreciate it very much.

Thanks and happy hunting,

FindHeMan.com

UPDATE: When informed he sent this to the wrong email he replied with:

Thanks Richard. If you have seen He-Man at all, I hope you do the noble thing and take his picture.

Why Are You Trying To Start Shit Lee?

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:16:00 -0400

This post of Sheila’s is crap.

It’s one thing to speak cynically about creepy trends in internet. But this shows no decency at all.

Brutal Cheerleader Girl Fights an Increasing Trend

I went to an all-girl’s Catholic school. Tell me about nasty. But this post is dumb and superficial. A missed opportunity to show why this sucks.

I’m sending this to you, Richard, because I know you have a wise heart and a warm soul. and that’s all.

Lee (AKA SarahHeartburn)

Suprising Not My Favorite Email Of The Day...

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:11:37 -0400

my favorite comment today: “Being bohemian is a state of mind. Like, just a minute ago, a few of the diamonds that line the soles of my sandals just rolled away. Did I chase after them? No. Diamonds are free. They have rights. Like you, like me. Like anyone.”

~Noelle

BOOOORRRRRRRING!

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:19:22 -0400

Richard,

I saw your site’s post on Google. Thought you might be interested in this - It’s no secret that Microsoft missed the boat big time when it comes to a Web-based version of Office; however, while the company is not announcing any major online developments of its own, it is doing damage control by supporting its partners who have SaaS applications that work with Office. Most recently, they have accepted eXpresso Corp. into their Startup Accelerator Program. The program is designed to connect high-potential startups committed to the Microsoft platform to an extensive support network. This program provides access to Microsoft people and programs, guidance on future directions and support to accelerate their success. eXpresso gives Microsoft customers the ability to put their Excel spreadsheets online for collaboration and offers a variety of features including audit trails, locks down to the cell level, a chat function and more. Would you be interested in learning more? Laura

Laura Baumgartner

Yellow Book, Not The Other Book...

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:51:03 -0400

Dear Richard Lawson :

We are in the process of expanding profiles for the editors, writers and reporters in our online publication of the News Media Yellow Book.

Please take a moment to provide details on the specific beats and stories you cover. There is NO CHARGE for your participation.

Because you and your organization play an important role in the coverage of news, you are included in the News Media Yellow Book, an established media guide used by journalists, PR professionals, Congressional staffers and government officials, and one of 14 directories published by Leadership Directories, Inc. Leadership Directories is a premium content provider, specializing in top positions at leading government, corporate, nonprofit, legal, and media organizations in the U.S. We have published the leading directory of the U.S. Congress, the Congressional Yellow Book, for over thirty years.

At this time, we are working with our regular contacts in the process of updating the Spring 2008 edition of the News Media Yellow Book. If you would like to learn more about all of our directories and our online publications, updated daily, please visit our website, www.leadershipdirectories.com.

Please hit Reply to this e-mail and use the space below to provide answers to the following questions. Thank you for your participation.

Q: What is your beat or what subjects do you cover?

A:

Q: What types of stories would be of most interest to you?

A:

Q: What tips would you give PR professionals who may want to contact you? (Please feel free to include preferred times, policies, pet peeves, etc.)

A:

Q: What is your preferred method of being contacted? E-mail, phone, fax, or mail?

A:

Sincerely,
Jessica Gentile
Assistant Editor, News Media Yellow Book
Leadership Directories, Inc.

The Video Department Is More About Firing Than Hiring

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:59:49 -0400

Dear Richard,

As an upcoming Marist College Communications-Journalism graduate, I am seeking a full-time position at Gawker.

Currently, I am an Editorial Intern working under Bonnie Fuller of American Media, Inc., with publications such as Star and Shape. I have also interned for NBC’s Weekend TODAY show and I was an Editorial Assistant for three national newsletters for health professionals. Being the first Managing Editor of Marist student magazine The Generator I worked hard to develop the style and overall tone of a new publication that is known on campus to take risks.

My resume is attached - I look forward to speaking to you sometime in the near future.

Thanks,
Christine

Who the fuck is Craig Stevens?

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:58:22 -0400

hi … i’m not sure if this would work in terms of gaining additional information re: “theatre geigh craig stevens!”, or not, but … here’s a link to the website of the singing instructor/voice coach he mentions in his most recent video. perhaps he/his office might be able to point you in the right direction - since you are a journalist!

http://www.ronshetler.com/

and whoever said craig resembles matthew broderick is right. damn.

nite-nite.

~Jpknyc8

Catching Up

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:11:13 -0400

New Jezebel to richard:

Hi lolcait!!

Sorry it’s been so long since my last message. It’s been so crazy around hear!

What’s up “@” Gawker anyways?

TTYWYWB!

That's It, I've Had It...

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:54:05 -0400

Blakeley: hey man
Lawson: hey
Blakeley: so today is the day i've finally had it with forwarding your weird emails, from now on you can read them all here:
Blakeley: http://richardlawsonsemail.tumblr.com/
Lawson: haaa
Lawson: sweet jesus
Lawson: thanks

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:41:00 -0400

There is yet more news on the Glamour Magazine blogger Mike Cherico incident….

MARCH 19TH 2008 NEW YORK, NEW YORK

GLAMOUR BLOGGER HAS MORE SCAMS

Glamour Magazine execs weren’t the only ones duped by newly unemployed dating blogger Mike Cherico. Nightlife Kingpin and Co owner of Manhattan hot spots Suzie Wong’s and Prime, ”JE” Englebert also had run-ins with the former famous blogger.

Cherico was using Glamour’s name and trading his blog articles for personal hook-ups.

One such instance occurred last Halloween, when he allegedly offered Englebert a spot in his blog, only in exchange for tickets to the Playboy Mansion’s hottest party of the year. Three days before the big bash in L.A. Cherico reportedly bragged about the party on his blog and initiated his own demise by asking women what to wear to such an event like the mansion’s annual Halloween party.

Cherico never made it to the Halloween bash and it wasn’t long before Cherico showed up in New York demanding bottle service at one of JE’s nightclubs.

Now, what’s next for JE?, as he approaches his next big Playboy Mansion party on April 19th